


Breathe

by alilactree



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 21:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10773198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilactree/pseuds/alilactree
Summary: This is a soulmate AU if you squint. Set around 1x04





	Breathe

Love is different for Shadowhunters, or so Alec has always believed. Their relationships are too twisted up in duty, putting family and loyalty and the Clave first above all else. The happily ever after of mundane fairy tales was something Alec would never have, and even a simple story of finding love and companionship with someone who wanted him just for himself was impossible, he’d figured that out a long time ago. It was best to let go of all that completely, close himself off. Emotions make him weak, and he cannot afford to be weak.

Maybe love is different for Shadowhunters, but for Alec it’s even more so.

He’d felt something strange that night in Pandemonium: a pull, a connection. He’d been focused on the mission, on his job, unlike some people. And also unlike some people he did not go off chasing flights of fancy or let his emotions lead him instead of his logic. He was ignoring the sensation, whatever it was, but when he thinks back on it later, it’s still so vivid in his mind’s eye.

A tug at his belly, like a fishing line hooked in his navel. A sudden warmth, like the moment of pure peace and contentment just before slipping off to sleep. A rush of endorphins, happiness and, embarrassingly, arousal. Then the unshakeable feeling that he was home. Home in Pandemonium, of all places? Absurd. But there was no way else to describe it.

He feels out of sorts and frustrated for days after, and Clary’s presence is not helping matters. Before her, he could easily focus on duty and following orders because that is how you make sense of a life that is dangerous, bound to serving and protecting those who cannot protect themselves. Clary will get them all killed. Acting on impulse, on emotion— He can’t stand it. He has fought it for too long to stand it.

The search for Magnus Bane becomes paramount. Alec does not believe that Clary’s regained memories are the key to finding the Cup and Jocelyn yet the urgency to track down this Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn is an ever-present itch under Alec’s skin. Why is he going along with this? Why does he want to find Magnus so badly? Why can’t he ignore this urge as he ignores so many others? Alec’s world has been upended, and he blames Clary. And Jace. 

He blames his own weakness most of all.

Magnus’ loft is beautiful, filled with beautiful things, but that does not explain why Alec’s breath leaves his lungs in a single rush of air the moment he enters. 

“I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Magnus,” he says, so close, so beautiful, and Alec thinks, _breathe._

It happens again, the rush of sensation and happiness, contentment and want. Magnus calls him “pretty boy” and Alec’s head spins. Gathered around the spell to summon a memory demon, Magnus takes his hand and Alec’s heart thunders in his chest.

The spell goes horribly wrong, and it’s all Alec’s fault.

He thinks about talking to Izzy, about what he feels around Magnus. She could help him understand. She wouldn’t judge him or be disappointed. Not Izzy, never her. But he doesn’t, because Alec knows two things for sure:

He has feelings, intense ones, for Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

He can’t.


End file.
